🧠 The Absolutely Certified IQ Test™

Peer-reviewed by one (1) guy. Scientifically meaningless. Legally binding.

✅ Scientifically dubious
✅ Employer-approved*
✅ Will NOT refund your time

*No employers were contacted.

Question 1 of 20

A rooster lays an egg on the exact peak of a perfectly symmetrical barn roof. Which way does the egg roll?

Left Right Straight down Roosters don't lay eggs, you absolute sausage

Question 2 of 20

You're in a footrace. You sprint past the person in 2nd place. What place are you now in?

1st, baby! 2nd 3rd Last, somehow

Question 3 of 20

How many months of the year have 28 days?

1 (February, duh) 2 7 All 12 of them

Question 4 of 20

What weighs more: a pound of feathers or a pound of lead?

Feathers Lead They weigh the same, Brenda The pound is a unit of currency

Question 5 of 20

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain on Earth?

K2 Kilimanjaro Mount Everest (it existed, it just hadn't been RSVP'd) The one in your living room made of laundry

Question 6 of 20

A plane crashes EXACTLY on the border between the US and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?

The US side The Canada side Both, cut them in half You don't bury survivors. They're, like, alive.

Question 7 of 20

You walk into a pitch-black room containing an oil lamp, a kerosene heater, a candle, and a fireplace. You have ONE match. What do you light first?

The oil lamp The candle The fireplace, obviously, it's cold The match. The MATCH. You light the match first.

Question 8 of 20

A doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one every 30 minutes. How long until you've taken all of them?

30 minutes 1 hour 90 minutes Three business days

Question 9 of 20

What has four letters, sometimes nine letters, but never has five letters?

This question is cursed and I refuse It's a riddle — the sentence is literally telling you the answer Wheel? Is it wheel? Sixteen

Question 10 of 20

If you have one haystack in one corner of a field, and another haystack in the opposite corner, and you combine them, how many haystacks do you have?

2 1 (big boi) 0, I set them on fire ½, my rake is bad

Question 11 of 20

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, insert giraffe, close fridge Fold it neatly like a fitted sheet You don't, that's animal cruelty and also physics Summon it with a bass drop

Question 12 of 20

The Queen is hosting a party. All the animals attend EXCEPT one. Which animal misses the party?

The lion, he's intimidating The sloth, too slow The giraffe, because YOU just stuffed it in a refrigerator two questions ago The goose, gooses are rude

Question 13 of 20

What is the square root of a potato?

2 i·potato (imaginary starch) Fries This is not a valid mathematical operation and I am filing a complaint

Question 14 of 20

A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 run away. How many sheep does he have left?

8 9 17 Zero, he's a crypto farmer now

Question 15 of 20

Complete the sequence: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, ___

13 (Fibonacci, nerd) 11 (I added the last two wrong) 42 (always 42) Ham

Question 16 of 20

Which of these is the odd one out?

Apple Banana Carrot The crushing weight of existence

Question 17 of 20

If it takes 5 machines 5 minutes to make 5 widgets, how long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets?

100 minutes 5 minutes 1 minute Depends on union rules

Question 18 of 20

You are the driver of a bus. At stop 1, 7 people board. At stop 2, 3 get off and 2 board. At stop 3, 5 board. What is the bus driver's eye color?

Blue Brown Green YOUR eye color, because YOU are the driver, pay attention

Question 19 of 20

Which statement is true?

This statement is false The statement above is true None of the above All of the above, including this one, recursively, forever

Question 20 of 20

Final question. What is your honest assessment of this IQ test?

Profound Actually made me dumber I laughed, I cried, I clicked I am going to leave a Google review